A phrase my mother NEVER allowed my siblings and me to use growing up. If those three words ever seemed to slip from our sweet, precious mouths, two things happened. One, the other three children gasped (or if these words were spoken when our mother was not around you better believe she was going to know about it). And two, the dreaded "My room. NOW!" I'll let you figure out what happened behind that closed bedroom door with a mother holding the belt of her husband. Now, I'd be lying if I told you I never said "It's not fair!" in my 18 years of living at home. And I'd also be lying if I said I never said those words when my mother or siblings were not around...but you better believe I regretted it every single time. And anytime I heard another child say those forbidden words, my response was always the same..."You shouldn't say that. My mother does not let us!"
You're probably thinking "Where in the world are you going with this, Macy?" There is a point to all this, I promise you. For all those years of not being allowed to speak those forbidden words I cannot recall my mother ever giving us a reason as to why we were not allowed to. And after 23 years of wondering, I finally figured it out! My mother wanted us to find the purpose behind the ridiculousness of not being able to state our opinion on things that really were not fair. She was creating children with thankful hearts. Thankful for what we had and did not have. She was molding us into children of God. In many more ways than just forbidding us to say "It's not fair!"
Over a year ago, I experienced one of the hardest things I believe a girl has to go through. Something I would not wish upon anyone. Heartbreak. I'm talking about that "can't sleep, can't eat, can't think" kind of heartbreak. My heart physically hurt. I honestly did not know how I would go on. Through all the pain, through all the tears, through all the mistakes I made during my time of grief, I knew I had to change something. I had to change me. But what exactly did I need to change? I started with my spiritual life. Let me tell you, at this point in my life, I was so far off the straight and narrow path, I really did not know how to get back on. So I did something I had not done in a while. Something I was taught to do as soon as I could speak. I prayed. I prayed as soon as I woke up. I prayed as I drove to school. I prayed in the shower. I even prayed myself to sleep some nights. I begged and begged to find some comfort and peace. Talk about an immediate change! My heart started to ache a little less, my eyes became dryer, and my smile became more real. Don't get me wrong, the pain was still there...still is, but my steps were being directed back to the path of the straight and narrow. I remember telling people "I've never been closer to God than I am right now." I had people say "How?! How are you so strong after what happened to you?" My one word response was "Prayer."
Now, my relationship with God was back on track. I felt like I could conquer the world. First, it was time to conquer something that had been haunting me for all my years. My weight. For years, I've battled the scale, like most women have. I've tried just about every diet out there, tried numerous workout programs, basically starved myself, and I was only left with disappointment. I'm not sure what was different this time, but I had motivation come out of nowhere, and I knew I had to take advantage of it quick! In six months, I had lost 25 pounds. Something I thought I would NEVER do. What was different you ask? My mindset. I knew that I needed to make a lifestyle change and no fad diet, weight loss pill, or exercise program was going to make that happen. I had to be willing to change the way I looked at food. I had to be dedicated and excited about exercising. Two things that were INCREDIBLY difficult for me. Don't get me wrong, I love to exercise...on my own time and in my own way. Which consisted of MAYBE running a mile once a week. I ate junk. Complete junk. I knew it had to stop. I didn't wait till the beginning of a new week or after I had had my "last meal." Slowly, I started to enjoy my food. Slowly, I was running THREE times a week and MORE than one mile. Today, I LOVE to cook. I research and read blogs all the time about food and running. I can now run 3 miles without stopping and under 30 minutes I might add :)
Now, here's where the "It's not fair!" part comes in. During this journey I caught myself thinking "It's not fair that I'll never be a size 4." "It's not fair that I'll never look like her." "It's not fair that I eat right and exercise daily, and the pounds aren't coming off like I want them to." And my favorite "It's not fair that she can eat WHATEVER she wants and still have a flat stomach." In my mind, none of those things are fair, but today as I was reading Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst (thanks to a dear friend, Melissa Holt, for giving me the book), I realized something. Instead of wanting something I can't have or complaining about my body that I hate, I should be thankful. That girl who eats whatever she wants and doesn't gain a pound, she may not struggle with weight loss, but she has her struggles. Today, this very day, I am thankful for the body God has given me. I have found my beautiful, and it's staring back at me every time I look in the mirror. Be proud and thankful of the body God gave you.
Does God care about the food we eat? Absolutely. Are you treating your body like a temple of God? If not, what are you "weighting" for?
Press on, my friends, press on.
Oh, thanks Mom for teaching me to have a thankful heart :)
Oh, thanks Mom for teaching me to have a thankful heart :)
Psalm 86:11-12
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